A sort of life

Joint Chiefs urge strategy shift

WASHINGTON — The moment I found this guy’s Web site I realized that we’re living in some kind of Bizarro World. There is no question.

Did you knit that scarf yourself?

Justin, of Awkward Things I Say to Girls fame, could be my brother. It seems that him and I have a knack for saying extremely stupid things to women. He also seems to become week kneed around intelligent dark-haired beauties.

I’m telling you: we’re brothers in arms.

It seems, however, that he’s been doing a little better than I of late. Since I began reading of his exploits, the 25-year-old has worked his awkward charm to snag many telephone numbers.

And just this week he was able to win a woman’s affection by admitting that he liked to knit. While heaving salutations on a departing beauty, Justin noticed she had a knit scarf and asked if it was homemade. She said it was. His close (and I’m not making this up)? “What? Did you just alternate rows between knit and purl? I made one like that, too, once.”

It worked and he was awarded a goodnight kiss.

His writing is snappy, quality, and his stories remind me of my own. I’ve got a hunch it’d be great to have couple of beers with him. Perhaps one day we’ll run into each other on the Richmond streets.

“Joint Chiefs urge strategy shift” is from Volume One: Frank’s Wild Years (1983–2009). Written between 2003 and 2009, Volume One was this author’s attempt to find meaning from life as a young twenty-something. While this endeavor would ultimately fail, what remains is a comical tale of loneliness and debauchery.

Teaching me to lick a little bit kinder

Teaching me to lick a little bit kinder

A pillar candle illuminates a darkened room during a home brew beer tasting session at the home of Lindsay Naylor-Jasper in McLean, Va. on June 6, 2005.