A sort of life

Nice eyes — they may be smilin’; but smilin’ eyes ain’t always nice

RICHMOND, Va. — February’s almost over and I’m almost 25-years-old. Oi!

I’m having a bit of a “what the fuck am I doing here” type of a moment these last couple days. Yes, we’ve been here before, but things have been pretty good lately. This is not what we’ve had before. However, it seems prudent to step back and reassess. People’s lives are like Mack Trucks in a demolition derby. Like a tin full of bait worms. Packed tight. Flesh on flesh struggling for an unknown, a something. It’s a dangerous feeling this, this uncertainty. This dirty humanity.

So, I was digging through some of my old work here, looking for some inspiration, and commiserating with memories and wallet photographs, etc., and then I remembered that I owe you folks an updated life list. This is an old ritual of mine, dating back five years or so now. As much as I admire Jack Nicholson and as much as I love the Morgan Freeman voice, I must confess that I wasn’t thrilled that they partnered up for The Bucket List movie. I thought that the value I placed in the process of making my own list would be diminished by the popularity of their film. I fear the phrase: “Everybody’s doing it.”

Just like last time around, the life list will be rolled out in two editions. Two parts. First to the plate is last year’s list. Completed “tasks,” or goals or whatever are marked. Clearly I accomplished, and I quote: “Not so much.”

On deck is the new edition revised and annotated with the latest and greatest. The “what’s on my mind,” not that you care.

Alas!

Education

The color of money

  • Fix budget/finances quandary
  • Retirement fund

Do by December 31, 2007

  • Paint self portrait
  • Learn to pick locks
  • Read book a month
  • Continue writing/editing for Commonwealth Times
  • Write one investigative story (weighty)
  • Write 50,000 words on single story line
  • Pet, for inspirations
  • Maintain between 3-3.5 grade point average
  • Miss no more than one class per class per week
  • Film screenplay
  • Attend Richmond Braves/Richmond Kickers game
  • Write 1,000 words a day (morning)
  • Wake up earlier
  • Stop making fun of the morbidly obese
  • Find pen pal on every continent
  • Complete web resume

In pursuit of women

  • Reinstate black book
  • Companionship
  • Commission attire
  • Put more effort into my love making
  • Bring back Paco Rabanne
  • Date girl that has asshole boyfriend

The hobbyist

  • Skydive
  • Cinematography
  • Continue photography
  • Boost music collection
  • Rebuild classic vehicle (De Soto?)
  • Stamps (Magyar Posta)
  • Aquariums built inside walls of house
  • Deep wilderness camping
  • Learn to fly
  • Build library

On enhanced health

  • Re-get and stay fit (see Life List 2003)
  • Waist: 36 inches to 32 inches
  • Run 2 miles in 15 minutes
  • Eat three square meals a day
  • Increase wine consumption

Improving business position

  • Rework quarg.com to increase revenue stream.
  • Write copy for fee
  • Move office operations out of office
  • Environmental (naturalist) journalism
  • Richmond area blog aggregator
  • richmondwrites.com, richmondstandard.com, eroticrichmond.com, desotopress.com, americanterrorist.org, thereveller.com, de-soto.net, quarghost.com, getrichmond.com, civiccert.org.

The long-term vision

  • Own a house
  • Returning to traveling man lifestyle
  • Live on a boat
  • Spend time in West Africa
  • Do radio show

“Nice eyes — they may be smilin’; but smilin’ eyes ain’t always nice” is from Volume One: Frank’s Wild Years (1983–2009). Written between 2003 and 2009, Volume One was this author’s attempt to find meaning from life as a young twenty-something. While this endeavor would ultimately fail, what remains is a comical tale of loneliness and debauchery.

The cat will mew and dog will have his day

The cat will mew and dog will have his day

Bishop plays peek-a-boo in a newly opened box at the Nansemond Street apartment in Richmond, Va. on September 3, 2010.

It's a dangerous feeling this, this uncertainty. This dirty humanity.