A sort of life

Rail fares to increase

WASHINGTON — Many years ago I created a so-called “life list,” or better known as the list of things I wanted to do before I died. I was 20-years-old at the time, and coming out of a major depression. The intent was to find myself a direction. A reason to live.

I slid the page into an old and rusted frame and hung it in my bathroom. There was a screw already in the tile by my toilet. I could perch, contemplating my list on its perch. It was a good deal.

Well, it’s now been more than 3-years since I wrote that lovely list. I think it’s about time for an update. This time, however, I’m going to add a section devoted to short term goals to be completed by December 31, 2007. I did a similar thing with the old list in a section called “Anticipated Path,” but I left it vague. Too vague.

But before I embark on the rewriting endeavor, I think it appropriate to include my old list verbatim for you folks to peruse. It’s attached below. My completed goals are nixed.

The new list will be released tomorrow.

Career related

  • Be printed in a major newspaper
  • Have a weekly column
  • Write a novel
  • Write a screenplay
  • Own/run a newspaper

Life related

  • Own a house
  • Discover religion
  • Self-dependent and accountable
  • Stop procrastinating
  • 20/20 forward, not retrospective vision

Pizzazz related

  • Develop a slick personal style
  • Refresh the wardrobe
  • Iron my clothes
  • Monthly haircuts
  • Clean up my face

Hobby related

  • Draw a comic book
  • Paint landscapes
  • Learn photography
  • Learn to play guitar
  • Learn to speak German, Spanish
  • Learn to play chess

Sports related

  • Join a weekend baseball/softball club
  • Play tennis
  • Develop a wicked jump shot
  • Play basketball with a buddy

Health related

  • Get and stay in shape
  • Go to gym at least three times a week
  • Run two miles in 15 minutes
  • Have a six-pack
  • Whiten my teeth

Involving ladies

  • Smile more, especially when walking on the street
  • Have and use a ‘little black book’
  • Casually date
  • Learn to flirt
  • Develop confidence
  • Break a heart
  • Be known for quality cunnilingus

Anticipated path: October 2003

  • Freelance stories to local and U.S. newspapers
  • Graduate from Curtin University November 2004
  • Return to U.S. to work at one of the papers I freelanced for

Top five job list

  • Writer that sells books
  • Columnist for a daily paper
  • Reporter for a daily paper
  • Editor at a publishing house
  • Own a record/book store

“Rail fares to increase” is from Volume One: Frank’s Wild Years (1983–2009). Written between 2003 and 2009, Volume One was this author’s attempt to find meaning from life as a young twenty-something. While this endeavor would ultimately fail, what remains is a comical tale of loneliness and debauchery.

Follow the river and you will find the sea

Follow the river and you will find the sea

Oscar Facciolo De Soto enjoys a river cruise with his family in Bundesrepublik Deutschland circa 1992.

There was a screw already in the tile by my toilet.